Whoa Mommy!

So I believe I just had my first actual mommy breakdown. There were tears and some praying. Thankfully, it only lasted five minutes and I was able to put myself back together. Our beautiful, sweet, darling angel is going through one heck of a time right now. She wakes up during the night, cries and cries. She has been teething for months now and just recently got sick. The only thing that makes her happy is watching Sesame Street. Sometimes that doesn't even work. I know she's in pain, but I don't know how to help her. I've been trying to keep her up later so that she'll sleep through the night. However, tonight I let her lay down at 8:30. After tears, refusing to eat, spitting out Motrin, I finally laid her down with a warm bottle. Now, she is sound asleep. I am hoping she gets plenty of rest and feels better in the morning. I always knew being a mom wouldn't be easy, but I underestimated how hard it would be. Today, I truly felt like a bad mom. I couldn't stop my baby from crying and I got overwhelmed trying. So after laying her down, I sat down, and then the tears came, so I prayed. I hope I'm not alone in how I felt tonight. I also hope if you're going or have gone through this then you know you're not alone. I think we feel so much pressure to be perfect as moms. I know I do anyways. Being a stay at home mom, I feel like I should be doing a near perfect job. I'm not perfect. I never will be. I can only hope I can continue to grow, learn, and that one day Pearl will be proud to have me as her mother. I kind of hate that I'm putting this out on the Internet. (I guess I'm hoping that either someone understands or feels relieved when reading this.) I am sharing my own personal thoughts and feelings. I hope you don't abuse that in anyway.  Anyways, I think that's about it. I actually feel better than when I began writing. Don't judge my grammar and punctuation or lack of. 

Being a mom is wonderful. Tonight was a tiny little bump in the road. I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything in the world. Pearl is the most amazing and wonderful little girl. She lights my life and fills my heart. I just pray she gets some rest and starts feeling better. ❤

Little sweetheart sound asleep. 

A year of Pearl

Our "little peanut" is one year old now. My midwife started calling her a little peanut at my first ultrasound. I can remember that appointment like it was yesterday. Cory and my mom were in the room. We listened to her heartbeat (my mom instantly started crying), I had a pelvic exam (with them still in the room--awkward), and then we saw our little peanut on the ultrasound.
Pearl turned one on August 3. We had our parents over for dinner. To be honest, I wasn't planning on doing much on her actual birthday. However, grandparents would just not have that. I made Mac n cheese and baked potatoes. Cory grilled chicken and corn on the cob. We bought her a small cake and Elmo balloon. I asked my mom to by her some kind of birthday shirt. My mom found a long sleeved onesie that read "birthday girl". I rolled up the sleeves and ironed on "one". I didn't have the letter 'n' so I cut the letter 'm' to (sort of) look like 'n'.

I realize these aren't the best photos. It's difficult to be the photographer and host ;)

Enjoy.

                                

     

             

Dear Pearl,

       It is hard to believe that you are already one year old, my sweet little angel. I love being your mother. I can't even begin to explain how much joy you bring me. You are the silliest, craziest and most beautiful thing I have ever met! I love watching you grow everyday. 

       This has been quite the year. You started off with a BANG! I've never seen so many people so upset and worried. After about a week in the NICU we were finally able to take you home. Your dad and I were so scared, and your first night home wasn't easy at all. I still can't believe that sleepless night was a year ago.

        You have turned into quite the little character and I love it! You have a sense of humor, you can dance and you can definitely be dramatic. You are so smart, Pearl, and you always have been. I am more amazed by you everyday. I'm smiling right now just thinking about all of your qualities! You're great.

        I'm not very good with words and I don't really know what to say. I just hope one day you get to experience this love I feel for you. There is no greater joy in life than being your mother. I feel bad for anyone who isn't apart of your life, because they are truly missing out. I'm going to leave it at that for now.

I love you more than I knew I was capable of.

Love,

MAMAMA

<3

Now, I'd like some input from my fellow mamas. 

1. Eating: *Pearl likes to throw her food on the floor no matter if she loves it or hates it. Sometimes I will just feed her myself so I don't have to deal with the mess. 

*I am slowly starting to give her a spoon while she eats. Still afraid to give her food in a bowl or on a plate. *Also, I want to keep introducing her to new foods before its too late.

2. Sleeping: *Pearl falls asleep with a milk bottle. I take it away after she falls asleep. *She wakes up once a night for a bottle and the falls back asleep. She hasn't slept through the night since we was 6mo.

I know I have more I'd like your input on, but I can't think at the moment. Probably because I'm waiting for Pearl to wake up. So any tips and advice for one year olds are welcomed. Oh, bath time! We take showers now, because Pearl hates the bath. 

I'm going to go check on Pearl now. Have a wonderful afternoon. 

Here's a photo from Pearl's party. I'll try to write a detailed blog about her party very soon!                 

                                

 Oh yeah, here are the photos from her "one year photo shoot"! 

Our baby isn't a baby anymore

My precious Pearl is 10.5 months old! It really has gone by incredibly fast. I've found myself starting to forget her milestones so I tried to write them all down last month. I'm so sad that I cannot remember every little and amazing thing she does.
Pearl has always been quite the character, but it is starting to show more and more. Which is why I have decided to drop everything and sit down and write this blog. (I'm sure there will be many pauses between Pearl and my HUSBAND, eek, husband!)
Where to begin...
I'll try to start from my last Pearl update.
At 7 months old she started her first foods. Her first food was avocado. She still loves it three months later.
At 8 months she started finger foods, because she kept grabbing the spoon from me when I fed her baby food. She also started pulling herself up around this time. I remember the first time I saw it. We were in the room. Pearl was in her playpen and we were in the bed. I looked over and she was doing it. I told Cory to "look!"
At 9 months she got her first tooth! A few days later, a second tooth started coming through. Around this time she started walking around using furniture.
The reason I really wanted to write this was to share with you just a little bit about her personality. I'll do that in a letter to Pearl.

My sweet Pearl,
      You are growing up too fast! You are becoming independent and outspoken. Pearl, you came into the world fighting and you haven't stopped. You're going to be a strong girl. As much as I'm scared for you to grow up, I'm excited at the same time. Your personality is showing more and more everyday.
      Lately, you've been very clingy. I'm not sure if its because you're teething or if its just a phase you're going through. You want "mamama" most days. You do love your "dadada" time though. A few weeks ago you were about to stick a cotton ball in your mouth and I shouted "no" at you. You started crying and it broke my heart. You are starting to understand the word "no" and you're understanding how to use it (a fear of mine). You have the best sense of humor. You've always had a sense of humor, but I can definitely see it now. You crack me up.
       You've began to really observe things. You don't just pick up things and shove them in your mouth. You look them over, pass them between your hands and I can see the little gears working in your head. You want to figure everything out. I think you are very smart for a 10 month old.
       Bath time has become a bit difficult. You like to stand up and that isn't safe. Also, when I rinse you off you get kind of scared and sometimes cry. I hope that passes, because you've always loved your baths. You love the pool. We took you for your first swim about a month ago. I enjoy our pool time.
       Eating is becoming tricky with you. I think you're starting to become picky (another fear). I'm going to try harder to widen your pallet. You love your toast though!
       Everyday I notice more and more that you are becoming a little girl. You don't always need me, but I enjoy when you do. I'm excited to watch you grow up because I know you're only going to become more and more fun. You'll always be my baby though.
       You have become quite the little dancer! It's so cute. You shake your hips like a pro. Your famous move is circling around in your butt! Oh yeah, you're starting to climb too! And you've let go, while standing, a few times.

I love you so much Pearl Sullivan. My baby girl.

Love,
         Your Mamama

Ps How could I forget! You sleep in crazy positions. It's the cutest thing. You throw yourself and circle around your playpen until you just pass out. Also, we love waking up to you babbling and peeking over your playpen at us.

So I'm going to try to do Pearl updates at least monthly! Too much is happening to not do it.
Eventually, I'll do a wedding post!
Like I tell Pearl, "be gentle." Until next time!

XOX,
BreeAnna

I'll leave you with some photos.
Well, maybe later because I guess I can't add them from my iPad :(

A Little Blueberry: A Makeover & Giveaway!

A Little Blueberry: A Makeover & Giveaway!: This little blog that I started in December 2010 was due for a makeover and today it got one!  I have been collaborating with Whitney from H...

The wedding is coming up!

We're getting married in less than 48 hours! I'm beyond excited and fairly stressed. However, I know it'll all turn out good. 

After the wedding I'll have more posts. I'll try to do weekly posts of all of the wedding projects. Also, I'll explain how everything went.

Enjoy your weekend!

42 week old Pearl

Wedding update!

Let me first say, I am not good updating my blog! However, after the wedding I should have more time (and hopefully more readers).
We are getting married in 25 days! It doesn't feel real and it hasn't hit me yet. Tomorrow morning we are going to get our marriage license. I'm sure it'll feel real then!
Anyways, here are some pictures of wedding crafts and decor I've found for the wedding.
Thank you for everyone who helped us craft!

Forever Came Calling "Ides" Official Music Video

http://youtu.be/7qwDWSzGm3s

Check out my brother's band Forever Came Calling.

New things for the wedding and more

All of our wedding goodies I have been ordering are slowly coming in! 

Our glasses! They are absolutely perfect.

Personalized M&Ms. We will be making candy goody bags for the kids.
 (I'm disappointed by the gold color.)

There are a few other things that have came in also, but these are the most important! I have started making Pearl's dress for the wedding. She's going to be one of our flower girls. 

Some of the supplies for Pearl's dress. I was too lazy to edit the picture, oops.

We will be having our crafting get together Monday the 22nd! That should be fun, and I know we'll get a lot done. It seems like the date is coming up fast! Luckily, in the past few days we have taken care of most of the big details. Everything is falling into place. Surprisingly, I haven't been too stressed. From the beginning, I told everyone I didn't want it to be a stressful event. I want it to be a nice celebration with our family and closest friends.

We are officially starting our garden! I picked up some plants and trees today. We are going to plant everything when Cory is off. I'll post pictures afterwards. Good luck to us! 

So today I made Pearl some yogurt drops. She loved the packaged ones so much that I decided to make my own. I really want to try to stay away from processed foods as much as possible (when it comes to Pearl). Here are some photos!

I chopped up my own organic strawberries.

Tub of plain yogurt.

Put the yogurt/strawberry mixture in a ziploc bag. Squirt little drops on parchment paper.

Freeze for a hour or so and ta da!

I was going to use strawberry yogurt, but I looked at the ingredients and they scared me. So I used frozen organic strawberries and mixed them into the plain yogurt. Also, by doing it that way I can control how sweet or tart they are. I probably sound crazy. Anyways, they turned out fine. I made Cory taste them first :)

Of course I have to leave you with a picture of Pearl. Bed head and all.
She recently started finger food. EEK!

Have a good weekend! We will be attending two Relay for Life events. Updates later. "Be kind to one another." -Ellen

Crawling, a little bit of Easter and wedding planning. Oh and PEARL IS 8MO!

Pearl is officially a crawler! It has been so amazing to watch her learn to crawl. Just watching her grow and develop in general is a blessing. Sometimes I have to sit back and remember how lucky I am. Pearl has been trying to crawl for about a week. On Easter Sunday she finally got it down.

Pearl's first Easter was wonderful! The Easter Bunny brought Pearl and Daddy Easter baskets. I guess he forgot about Momma :( We went to church and later that day had a big family BBQ at the park. It's so nice when our whole family gets together. Everyone is getting older and living their own lives. So i truly value the times we all get together. Pearl is so lucky to have so many people love and adore her. We are beyond lucky to have her in our lives! (The pictures aren't in order. I'm still trying to figure this out.)

Pearl & Julia. Julia is 6 weeks older.

                                                

Our little family after Easter Mass.

My parents and Pearl.

A successful first Easter!

Wedding planning is coming along! Yesterday, my mom, aunt, Pearl and I did a little decoration shopping. We are planning a wedding crafting get together on April 22nd. I will post a blog about the things we will be making, also, more wedding details sometime next week.

Finally, Pearl turned 8 months old yesterday! It is crazy and unfair how fast time flies. Everyone tells you how fast it goes by and it really does. The first year goes by especially fast. I think it's because they are growing and developing so much within the first year. It seems like just yesterday we were visiting our newborn in the NICU after she gave us a big scare. I am so blessed to be Pearl's mother and to have such a wonderful papa bear/future husband.

I will try to do a few different blogs next week. Each blog with a different subject. It's rough to juggle my time as a mom. Also, eventually I hope to get better at this blogging thing. We will be getting a much better camera within the next few months. So please bare with me. If you are reading this then thank you!

8 month old Pearl. She thinks she can do everything on her own. Growing too fast!